There are increasing volumes of documented evidence of the benefits of shifting your state and attitude to that of being grateful for all that you have, all that you are and all that surrounds you. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. It helps us deal with adversity, build stronger personal resilience and enhances relationships with others.
We probably all get this, but often forget to consciously and deliberately take time to actively notice and express it. Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have instead of what we lack and, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.
You can do this in multiple ways, some people apply gratitude to the past – retrieving positive memories and being thankful for their past, some do it for the future – maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude. But the starting point and place where we build a powerful gratitude foundation is NOW.
In this Simple Note, I will focus on expressing gratitude in the toughest times and how your attitude will improve from regular acts and cultivation of gratitude.
As a daily practice consider starting and finishing your day with noting 3 things you are grateful for in that moment (see The Attitude Book – Gratitude). The practice gradually shifts your ability to notice good things even on those toughest of days (when you need it most but when you are less likely to tune in to it).
However, if you’ve already tried this or are having a particularly difficult time at the moment, then maybe it is time for you to up your thanksgiving – to Grititude!
The next time something happens that you’d rather it hadn’t; or someone says something you’d rather they didn’t; or you meet resistance; failure; pain; error; discomfort it is a moment to step more boldly into your response before it grabs you, and sends your attitude downhill.
Be grateful for it anyway!
This is Grititude.
Notice the surfacing emotional reaction (annoyance, anger etc) and instead, practice being grateful. Appreciate the disturbance, even if in this moment you find it tough to fully feel grateful.
Accept the event/person/disturbance for what it is.
To help get your brain on board with this and help you, over the next week try one of these additional actions to cultivate your attitude:
- If an event that would normally stimulate a response of annoyance or anger occurs, immediately grab a pen and list 3 (or more) things about the event that could be beneficial, even if at first your list seems weak. This exercise assists in shifting your focus from the old habitual response.
- Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Perhaps even write one to yourself at the end of the week.
- Thank someone mentally. When you don’t have time to write, make an immediate difference by thinking about someone who has done something supportive or nice for you and in your mind, thank the individual.
- At the end of the week, take a moment to reflect on what went right or what you are grateful for. Pick three things to identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.
If you can find the time, the benefit of committing your gratitude to paper is evidenced. The psychologists Dr. Robert A. Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough, have extensively researched gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on specific topics.
One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.
If you find yourself in circumstances like the middle group – practice Grititude.
The state of heightened gratitude will keep you calm and soon after you’ll find the good that lies within it. An opportunity to start again; a learning opportunity; a chance to rethink.
Your former, habitual response will have likely changed your state and attitude to be less empowered, less creative, less connected, unhappier and less attractive.
You have a choice here – be bold, be gritful and choose grateful. The benefits are awesome.
Good luck and keep it simple.
Simon
PS – particular thanks to Paul Harvey and Suzy Beaumont from the Change Your World Everyday community for inspiring and coining the new word of Grititude!