Being confident, feeling it, acting out and behaving in confident ways, is a skill and for many of us it is not always readily available.
Over the years I have observed my own and client confidence levels wax and wane and worked with them to boost confidence and find reliable ways to raise and sustain this magic human attribute.
At the core of our everyday confidence is a belief, of which we may or may not be aware, but it’s there. The belief that you can achieve, you can succeed, that you are in the right place, doing the right thing, being the best you can be.
I have found six ways to establish or re-establish self-confidence, consider where you may need some work to give yourself a boost:
1. Repetition – of confidence boosting thoughts and activities. Spend more time doing and being what you are best at doing and being! (see 3-4-3, to which I so often refer!).
2. Self-talk – what are you saying to yourself, most often, about you, your work and your impact? How do you refer to yourself in conversation? Upgrade your words, reaffirm the positive. A famous boxer once provided us with the infamous “I am the greatest” example!
3. Step away from those that tear you down, even if it seems in light and gentle mockery. Watch out for the effects on your attitude, if it’s in anyway negative or hurts, give yourself a break.
4. Minimise the time you spend in low-confidence situations – where your enjoyment is minimal and your strengths are not used. Notice where they are and become more particular about your involvement there.
5. Catch the good ones – embrace the feeling - when you experience even a fleeting moment of confidence, notice it, grasp it and understand it.
6. Interpret feedback your way – when confidence is low everything we tune into tends to confirm and spiral us down. It may take a buddy or a coach to help here but look again at feedback and decipher other ways you could interpret it that is positive and full of learning.
In working through these self-confidence steps you may encounter difficulty (it isn’t working or you cannot find evidence of progress) or success (hurray, it’s working). In either circumstance, keep returning to these 6 steps – beyond the point of difficulty or the point where you feel you’ve succeeded. Keep going!
Good luck and keep me informed.